Confidence in Uncertainty

In American culture, it appears to me that confidence and uncertainty (or fear, nervousness, or many other similar feelings for that matter) are two words that are rarely used together. We are often anxious or fearful when we are uncertain of what is to come. We like to be in control of our every decision, and we often wish we had more control over the future. We do not handle change well.

I recognize that this is a generalization of American culture, but I believe that it is a fair generalization. I used to hate uncertainty, but for some reason that has changed in the last several years. Maybe it is because I married a woman who has experienced a lot of change in her life (Hailey has lived in over 20 houses/apartments) and deals with change better than anyone else I have ever met. Maybe it is because I have lived (all things considered) a pretty easy life and uncertainty has rarely caused pain or suffering in my life. Or maybe it is just because Hailey and I have expected to make a "BIG" change in our lives over the last few years so I have intentionally forced myself to be comfortable with uncertainty. Whatever the reason, I am thankful for my change in outlook.

Confidence in Uncertainty will be necessary for Hailey and me in Honduras! There are still so many things that we are uncertain about. Whether it is teaching, our diet, Micah's nap routine, or a thousand other things, I have many questions that may not be answered until I have to answer them myself in Honduras. For some people, this would be terrifying. For me, it is exciting. Not only is it exciting, but I feel a calm confidence in our decision that is almost unexplainable. For weeks I have been trying to explain it to people in a rational and practical way, but this has been difficult. While our mission to help educate and improve the lives of poor people in Honduras is admirable in the eyes of many people, it is not understandable. Not when you have a one year old child. Not when you don't speak the language. Not when you are going to the 2nd poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Not when you are leaving a stable job and income that most 26 year olds would love to have. It just doesn't make sense to so many people.

But it does to me. I have confidence in uncertainty. Even though I may not be able to explain it perfectly.